Perhaps i'm thinking too much.
Currently, yah, i'm learning in my course. Not just from the course material, but also from my classmates.
They are a bunch of friendly people.

Just complete the 3rd module. 2 test every week, but with the help of the trainer, i manage to brush through. Phew. Every week, 1 module. It is really kind of rush...gonna start a new one tml.

- Understanding Fabric
- Looking at Stitches and seams
- Production Drawing

Every courses get harder, especially production drawing. Stressed!
I can't draw. After the trainer's 1-1 training, and he almost "vomitted blood", finally i'm able to do it. HAPPY, Yeah.

Test results were pretty well. I got full marks for 1st paper in 2nd and 3rd module. It is open book test, so......u know...
2nd paper, is pratical. Human mistakes, as usual.
There are areas that i'm poor with, such as the dyeing and printing of fabric.
But when i finally get it right, it seem great.
-------------------------

today is 29th, it is Show Lo birthday tml. ^^

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I told the kids, not to cry.
End up, i cried. Alot, just like a quiet running tap.

Stayed with her on the last night.
Everyone seem ok.
My cousins even joked and we all laughed.
That could be the last time that we all were gathered at the same place.
After that, we are all going on to separate route.

When she was being moved out, i couldn't help, but cried.
Awhile, i controlled my feeling.
When we were chanting and moving around her, i cried again.
I don't want to see her go.

When we were sending her off for the last time, i carried myself and walked the journey.
Without any tears.
While on the bus, i breathe hard.
I couldn't control the tap, it just keep running. Tears just flowed and flowed.
If i could bawl, i would have. My heart hurt, i breathe even harder.

Moving her coffin to the burner.
I don't want to cry, but i couldn't help.
I closed my eyes and send her off. I don't want to see anymore.
I had a hard time to control my emotion. My cousin break down too.
Mayb because we were all females....

Today is the 6th day after her passing.
Went to "pick" her bones and put her in her new home.
Just beside my grandfather.

婆婆， 你好吗？
我不舍得你，但是我不要你在这儿继续痛。
看到那么多的针筒，我心好痛。
我什么都不可以做。
现在的你， 应该已经没有任何的痛了。
会好好的。 对吗？
阿公就在您的身边, 对吧。

my mum keep asking me to talk to her.
What can i tell her? like the sentence in front? and let her know i'm missing her.
This is not possible.

When there is nothing, there really isn't any events.
But when something starts to happen, alot of things will come crashing in together.
This is life.

There isn't any events on mon.
So the "just awake" me start to dismantle the computer's fan.
A call asking me to go for interview for my internship.
And the next, is my granny is on the way home. It is for the last time.

Mum panic, as usual. i'm got to be calm, i got other more things to do.
Interview cancelled, so that mean, my couses was not on bond.
Later, when my mum ask me to go for the interview, i'm happy i chose not to go.

Because, that would means, i'm not able to stay for my granny for the last time.
She die at 2.40pm，which is like, i would have been in the midst of my interview.
I had to forgo my chance for the internship.

I didn't cry. I cannot cry it out.
This would only let her feel more unwillingness. There are just too many people crying.
Mum didn't cry neither.
My granny was in coma, so that means, her eyes wasn't open.
But there were tears.
Going on the trip is good for her. She suffered enough.

These fews days, there were many other issues.
Be it the family, or my own family, there is problems.
Problems is everywhere.

Can i have some peace after all these? Please.
U think u been through alot. So do i.
This is already the 4th funeral i been through.
But she is the 1st that i witness in passing away.

这几年，你应该已经不记得我了。
只记得你有2个孙女。 其实，你是有4个。
我是你最大的孙女阿。

唯一你没有忘记， 就是一样那么爱手饰。
你不记得我，但是每次看到我带的手饰，你就很喜欢。
我知道，你的眼睛在能开的时候，一直都目不转睛。
也就这样，每一次去探望你，我都要把自己当圣诞树来打扮。
你说过，全部的孙， 我和你在这点最像。

在我没有家的时候， 你对我说：“我是你的婆婆，不是外婆。 没有人会不要你。”
知道我贪吃，所以把很厚，很大碗的燕窝给我吃。
在你家居住的时候，每天都买云吞面做我早餐。
我喜欢吃french bean & egg, 你每星期都会煮给我。
知道我家里经济不好，给我学费，买文具。
我爱买家里的伙食，你就带我去体验。 买给全家人，真的不容易。
你也常常送美丽的洋装给我。

我知道你有疼过我。
谢谢你。

就像外公一样，你们都去旅行了。在一起了。
我没有对你多说，因为一切已解释了。
好好的安息。

She was in coma. Bruises over her body, due to blood clot.
She has diabetics problems. Her legs have been ampulated, due to it.
She has kidney problem, because of too much medication.
Her body is failing.
She has been suffering since few years back.

She is tired.
May she rest well.